March 2001 Updates on
Mary Beth's
Journey
Links to other pages: Home / Pictures / Mary Beth's Obituary
We are getting ready to purchase some new wheels which made me think of my driving experiences with Mary Beth. Last summer, she and I would inform everyone that we were running an errand to the hardware store and come back about an hour and a half later. Each time, we would take a detour to the lower parking lot at Chaminade High School where MB would practice driving my van. We practiced backing out of a parking stall (in an empty lot, this is easy), using a blinker and turning a corner, and changing lanes after signaling. She was amazed at how difficult it was to actually drive a car because it looks so easy. We only had one near accident when she almost ran us into a ravine at the end of the parking lot because she got the accelerator and brake confused. Each time we went out, I bragged to her about my driving record which included only one traffic violation in 1974 and no accidents. We talked about how she and her sisters would be carpooling to St. Joe someday. All three of them wanted this to happen in a vehicle other than my 1992 minivan, but they would be happy to drive anything. I know Mary Beth was laughing at me a week ago last night. That was the night the forecast called for a lot of snow and freezing rain. I came home in my van and parked it diagonally behind the garage because I was leaving after dinner to return to the office. We ate our family dinner then I left for the office to work late. Since the weather was predicted to worsen into the evening, I decided to drive our Suburban. I started it, pushed the garage door button, then backed it out of the garage - right into the front quarter panel of my minivan. Immediately knowing what I did, I pushed on the brake and began to laugh. I laughed because I thought about my boasting to Mary Beth about my perfect accident record. Needless to say, Barbie and Heidi will be carpooling in the future in something different that my old van. God bless you, The color of purple is evident everywhere during the Lenten season. Seeing it in church and in the parking lot, it reminds us of our dear Mary Beth. We have a story to share about what we learned last Saturday night. When we were attending the Pillar auction, Sheila was interested in only one item, an original painting. Carole Wantz was commissioned to paint a rendering of the Pillar campus with the original and 500 prints available at the auction. It is a great painting depicting all the various events that occur at Pillar like first communion, graduation, the blessing of the animals, fish fries, Pillarfest, the Halloween parade, Father Tobin and his dog Bo, companion day, field day, soccer games and many other events. After we acquired the original at auction, we learned of a story about Carole when she was sketching the painting. Sheila had the opportunity to discuss the story with her. During the time when she was sketching the painting, she began to lose sight in one of her eyes. She sought medical attention and her sight began to come back. When it came back, everything she saw in that eye was in various shades of lavender and purple. At times, the color was so bright that Carole had to turn the lights off in her home. Near the end of her project, she learned of Mary Beth's passing and was asked to paint an angel on the painting to represent our angel MB. She did not know where we lived, but painted her in purple in the sky above our neighborhood, Chaminade Park. She did not know until the evening of the auction the significance of purple being Mary Beth's favorite color. When you see purple this Lenten season, think of Mary Beth and say a little prayer to her, because we know she will be listening. God bless you, We are all wearing some new purple ribbons today courtesy of the Saint Joe Junior class. We were informed by Jennifer Bisch, an SJA teacher and Junior class coordinator of the Junior class, that the Juniors wanted to do something special for Mary Beth's Angels Foundation. They purchased metal purple cancer awareness ribbons for the entire St. Joseph's community and asked for contributions from the student body for Mary Beth's foundation. The ribbons are a constant reminder of all the SJA Angels who are dealing with cancer, have passed away as a result of the disease, and who may be afflicted in the future. We wish to thank the Junior class and Ms. Bisch for their kind gesture for the foundation and especially for spreading the awareness of this dreadful disease. Last night marked the start of the Pillar Friday Fish Fry. Endless people sought Sheila and I out to ask how we were doing. It was a special feeling to be so loved by so many people. If you have not previously attended one of the fish fries at Our Lady of the Pillar, on Lindbergh between Ladue and Conway, you should make it a date. Connoisseurs of these venues have informed us that Pillar's Fish Fry is the best in town without question. May I suggest the salmon, tater tots, and the coleslaw. This was Mary Beth's favorite combination on the menu of several selections. She loved to go to the fish fries because it was a social gathering of community whether you were 5, 15, 25, 45, 65, or 85. See you next Friday! God bless you, William and I are in Garden Plain, KS this weekend attending the Rite of Election at Saint Cecilia's parish in Haysville, KS and Saint Mary's Cathedral in Wichita, KS. Sheryl, Andrew and Casey Ricken are joining the Catholic church in full communion on Holy Saturday. They are the immediate family members of my next youngest brother Jim and I am Andrew's godfather. Both the mass in Haysville and the service at the cathedral were very special. Mary Beth was very excited when she was informed last summer that her aunt and two cousins were joining the Catholic church. Sheila, Barbie and Heidi had previous commitments and were unable to make the journey with us. They have been having a good weekend with one another at basketball games and shopping. Attending these services today also reminded me of all three girls' first holy communion masses and Barbie and Mary Beth's confirmation masses. When I entered the cathedral in Wichita, I reached for the large bronze door and saw Saint Rose Philippine Duchesne portrayed in it. I immediately thought of Mary Beth again because she selected Rose as her confirmation name after this wonderful saint. Being in the cathedral with Bishop Gerber also reminded me of Mary Beth's glorious celebration of life in our cathedral basilica and a smile came to my face while I shed some tears. God bless you, While visiting our family members over the weekend, we had the opportunity to spend some time with Clayton Ricken, currently the youngest of the Ricken family grandchildren. Clayton was born with an arrhythmia irregularity in his heart. Shortly after birth, he and his parents spent three weeks in Fort Worth seeking expert medical attention for him. Typically, surgery is needed to correct this concern but the doctors prefer to have a larger heart to work with. Patients usually take medication for an extended period of time then when they are 2 or older, the undergo the surgical procedure. Clayton's heart rate was very high for most of 2000, but he is currently in the normal range more than he is out of it. When we visited Garden Plain over the Christmas holidays, Mary Beth spent a lot of time holding Clayton that Friday. In the evening, we planned a family gathering, but Clayton did not come along with Ken and Linda because he was sick. As it turns out, it was determined later in the month that Clayton was not feeling well because his heart rate had fallen into the normal range and the prescribed medication was lowering it even further. Mary Beth also prayed for his healing a couple of days before she left us. When you see him today, we believe her prayers and the prayers of all on his behalf are being heard. On May 17th, he will become a big brother, and we are praying that he, his sibling, and parents will live a lengthy, healthy life. God bless you, William and I landed in St Louis yesterday morning and I came home to repack for a trip to Houston later in the day. As it turned out, my timing was poor because our nephew Nate spent the night here last night with Sheila, Barbie, Heidi and Will. I saw him for a short period this evening before Uncle Jeff arrived from out of town to pick him up. He had a blast with Will in terrorizing his aunt and two girl cousins. Nate is starting to vocalize some words and has one speed as an active 19 month old - FAST! When you see him, it is hard to imagine he is the same frail little baby Aunt Joanie and Uncle Jeff arrived with last June from the Ukraine. Sheila didn't have the opportunity to work out or play tennis while he was here, but with all the chasing she performed, she got more exercise than if she would have done both. We truly appreciate all the effort Jeff exerts on a daily basis in being a single parent. He is a wonderful father and has done an outstanding job raising Nate since Aunt Joanie became an angel last August. We know she and Mary Beth are watching over Nate and Uncle Jeff and are laughing each time he runs away from us. God bless you, We received the following poem today from a great friend of ours, Ken Millet, and want to share it with you.
"Come
with Me"
God saw you
getting tired
A cure was
not to be
So he put his
arms around you
and
whispered, "Come with Me";
With tearful
eyes we watched you suffer,
and saw you
fade away,
Although we
loved you dearly
We could not
make you stay.
A golden
heart stopped beating
You're now at
peaceful rest,
God broke our
hearts to let us know,
That He only
takes the best.
Author
Unknown
Enough said for today. God bless you, I have just read several letters addressed to our family from the juniors and seniors in the prayer classes taught by Mary Jo Hippe, Kate Reilly and Betty Wirth at Saint Joseph's Academy. The letters are in a three ring binder entitled "Gifts We Have Received From Mary Beth Ricken". We received this book early last week but tonight was the first time I had the courage to open it. Sheila has read it and encouraged me to do so as well. I am only about 15 letters in to the dozens contained in this book, but am completely overwhelmed. Buy Procter & Gamble stock tomorrow because by the time the weekend is over, a lot of Puffs will have been consumed at our house as I work my way the remaining letters. It is amazing to read the in-depth perspective on life these young ladies possess. They have each expressed the profound effect Mary Beth has had on their lives, even if they hadn't formally met her. To a person, they all stated that Mary Beth taught them to live life with a new vision full of joy and happiness. We simply want to say, "Thank you" to each author and to your teachers. You have truly blessed us with your words. God bless you, We picked up a new car today to replace our old minivan. One of the requirements for any car we own has historically been the need for at least six seatbelts. Unfortunately, this requirement changed when Mary Beth left us. Last fall we started looking at replacements for our vehicles and Barbie was pushing for a Nissan Xterra. Mary Beth would laugh about this and said, "Yeah Barbie, I am sure Dad is going to drive one of those!" We discounted this vehicle from the mix because it didn't have the seatbelt requirement. We know Mary Beth is laughing at me because that is the exact car that was driven off the lot today. We can hear her saying, "I can't believe Barbie talked you into driving the car she wanted!" What can I say. Barbie, Heidi, Sheila and Will like it, and as long as it has four wheels, it is fine with me. God bless you, Mary Beth's presence was felt today at the MCTM math contest according to her former math teacher, Madonna Atwood. Pillar was not notified of the contest until one week ago and they took their team into the competition with little preparation. Before the contest, Madonna had each participant hold the rosary Mary Beth gave her and they said a little prayer. The results of today's contest were Pillar walking away with a record seven ribbons, including a first place. Madonna was all smiles when she informed us after 5:00 mass. MB isn't able to compete in person, but she is always there in spirit. She would have been very happy today as we donated our minivan to the St. Patrick's Center. We even fixed the large dent I put in it recently. When we spoke with them, we were informed that they were able to give a car to a woman with Multiple Sclerosis recently who hadn't been out of her home for months. This has provided a new lease on life for her. This is a wonderful program and the cars go to the needy, not for resale. If you are looking to sell or trade in one of your vehicles, you may want to consider this as an option. God bless you, I came in from being outside on this wonderful day to write this. While doing some long overdue yard work, I was raking an obscure flower bed and I found a purple plastic Easter egg. This egg is most likely the one that got away from our last egg hunt which occurred on April 9, 2000. There were about 120 kids seeking the 2,500+ eggs throughout the neighbors' yards on that day. Invariably, a stray egg or two is found in the weeks after the hunt every year. This is the first time in our 13 years of hosting this event that it took almost a year to find one. Aunt Sheila & Uncle Gerry's Annual Easter Egg Hunt was always one of Mary Beth's favorite events. We started it when she was 16 months old and Barbie was 3 months old. It started with a small gathering of 6 kids in our backyard in Overland Park, KS in 1987 and has grown through the years to the size it is today. We look forward to hosting the 14th annual on Palm Saturday, rain or shine. We know Mary Beth will be with us that day helping the little ones find their eggs like she always was. Who knows, maybe she assisted me in finding the one today. After all it was purple - her favorite color. God bless you, I woke up in the middle of the night last night with a vivid dream about Mary Beth and some of her friends. They went out to a movie then were spending the night here for a sleepover. When they laid down for the night, Sheila and I couldn't fall asleep because of the noise, so she went to talk to the girls. When she entered the room, she joined in the giggling and laughing for an extended period of time. Then I woke up and my dream had ended. The next thing I knew the radio was playing as my alarm had gone off. I always set the radio to KMOX, but last night when I checked it, the reception was terrible. For the first time, I tuned into an FM station; I don't even know which one it was. When I woke up to music, the first thing I heard were the following lyrics, "And I want to thank you for giving me the best days of my life." These lyrics are from a song we recently received on CD from one of our friends stating that these words were particularly appropriate when reflecting on MB. It really struck me that these lyrics were the reason I received poor reception for the first time ever from the most powerful AM radio station in the mid-west. God bless you, The fundraising gestures continue to come forth from numerous people. Our friends Tina and Patrick McNulty are moving out of Chaminade Park, much to our dismay. However, we are very happy for them because they are moving to White Bridge Lane into Patrick's grandparents' home. They have had numerous people ask to see their new home, so they have decided to capture an opportunity to honor our dear Mary Beth. They will be hosting a luncheon at their new home between 10:30 AM and 1:30 PM on May 1st. They intend to charge admission of $25.00 per person will all proceeds going to Mary Beth's Angels Foundation. We are thrilled with the idea and are very thankful to Tina and Patrick. All attendees may walk to Pillar after the luncheon to attend the Spring program. It is so fitting that the McNultys are holding this event on May Day. Mary Beth, Barbie and Heidi loved May Day when they were little girls. They would get a flat of live flowers and wrap each plant up in festive paper and a ribbon. Then, in broad daylight, they would sneak up to every neighbor's home in Overland Park, place a plant on their front porch, ring the doorbell, and run away laughing. God bless you, We are wearing our new Mary Beth's Angels t-shirts tonight courtesy of Mary Beth's dear friend Shannon Johnson and her family. Shannon launched a fundraiser for Mary Beth's Angels Foundation by designing and selling t-shirts. She delivered shirts to us today along with a check for over $2,500.00 to the foundation. We are so thankful for and overwhelmed by her efforts and the efforts of her mother Kelly and the entire Villa Duchesne High School community for spearheading this effort. We also want to thank each one of you who have placed an order. We understand that a follow up order will be placed the week of March 26th. If anyone is still interested in acquiring these shirts, Shannon will be taking the orders. The t-shirts depict an angel over the left chest area in front with the words "Mary Beth's Angels" under the angel. On the back of the shirt are the words "Life is Short, Laugh Hard!" The are available in ash grey or white and are appropriately lettered in MB's favorite color purple. If you would like to place an order, you may email Shannon at foofooskj@aol.com or phone her at (636) 343-6653. Again, we thank Shannon, Kelly, the Johnson family, Villa Duchesne, Ralph Rockamann at Sportsprint, and all who participated in this endeavor. Rest assured, the money received will be used to assist underprivileged children just as Mary Beth dreamed. God bless you, Barbie was all smiles tonight as we walked the hallowed halls of Saint Joseph's Academy for her Freshman Welcome. She is very excited to wear a funny hat during Hello Week, meet the other 160+ other freshmen, make new friends with girls all over the metro area, run for class officer, raise funds for Mission Week, try out for the sports teams, and carry the academic torch for her sister Mary Beth. It is amazing to see how many young ladies she knows from the various grade schools around town who are joining her at SJA. She has played against them, prayed with them, and met them at the mixers. I thought it would be a very difficult night but it was just the opposite. We were all smiles and felt very good about being there. Interestingly enough, when Sheila, Barbie and I got in the car to leave for St. Joe, the first thing we heard on the radio were the lyrics again, "And I want to thank you for giving me the best days of my life." Barbie immediately said, "No way, listen to this!" Reminders of how true this really is, are everywhere we look. God bless you, Tonight we had occasion to attend our first fund raiser for the HIS KIDS organization. HIS KIDS stands for happiness is helping kids in distress situations. The organization supports 1,500 families with a child affected by cancer. Mary Beth, Barbie, and Heidi attended their camp last summer and had a wonderful time. HIS KIDS is one of the few organizations that realizes that the entire family falls victim to cancer, not just the child in treatment. The camp programs are designed for the siblings and cancer kids and teach them how to deal with their situations. The siblings get to share their experiences with a peer group who can relate to what they are dealing with. This camp was truly the most rewarding camp experience the girls had ever had. We were asked to speak at the dinner auction about what HIS KIDS means to us. Heidi, Sheila and I attended and walked on stage with Sheila as our spokesperson. She spoke from the heart with no script and there were few dry eyes in the house when she finished. Heidi and I were standing behind Sheila soaking the carpet with our tears. As a sign of appreciation for all the wonderful work this organization does for children afflicted by cancer, Sheila presented a check for $5,000.00 from Mary Beth's Angels Foundation to HIS KIDS. This contribution marks the first gift of any kind from MB's foundation. Thank you for making this possible. Because of your generosity, children will be attending camp this summer learning to deal with the most devastating disease we know. God bless you, 3-17-01 - Happy St. Patrick's Day! God works in mysterious ways. Sheila's sister Ellen and their children Matt, Casey and Molly are visiting us from Lenexa, KS. We were all having a great visit until Ellen received a call from her husband Dave. He informed her that there had been an accident in which three 14 year-old 8th graders in Shawnee, KS had been killed. One of these young men was a friend of Matt's from his soccer team. One of their older brothers, who is 16, was driving and started racing a car down the street when he lost control. He is in critical condition according to the KC Star and his brother and two friends are gone. Please say a prayer for these young men and their families. We can only imagine what these families are experiencing. Yes, we too, have lost our dear Mary Beth but we had 15 months of daily preparation time. We had the opportunity to say good bye and let her know how much we love her. As you start your spring break, whether it be this week or in the coming weeks, we pray that you please drive safely and responsibly. We have enough angels in our midst for now. And live by the words of Mary Beth, "Life Is Short, Laugh Hard!" God bless you, We spent last evening en-route to Longboat Key, FL to enjoy some sand and sun for Spring Break. As it turned out we were surrounded by angels on our flight. Barbie and Heidi each invited a guest so the 7 of us were spread out over three rows. I was sitting in front of William and Sheila and next to a 1969 graduate of St. Joe who spoke of her fond memories. Three sophomores from St. Joe headed for Destin, FL were sitting behind William and Sheila and recognized us. We all had a wonderful time getting to know them and sharing stories. One of the stories Sheila shared with the girls was something that occurred a few weeks ago. Sheila was shopping at Sam's Club with Will when he looked at her and asked, "Mom, does Santa know?" She asked, "Does Santa know about what?" He responded, "Mom, does he know about Mary Bethy? You know, there were lot's of people at Mary Bethy's funeral but I didn't see Santa there. I don't think he knows Mom." Sheila assured him that we would inform Santa so he would know. William's letter to him will be sent this fall so Santa will remember when Christmas rolls around. God bless you, The first people Sheila met on the beach are about the age of our parents. They are here visiting some friends of theirs and are enjoying the weather. The first question they asked her was if the five children with us were all ours. She explained that two were friends and they responded, "So you have three children?" Sheila informed them that we have four beautiful children and one resides in heaven. This led to a discussion which discovered that the couple lost their son to brain cancer two years ago. He was thirty nine, married and the father of young children. In comparing stories, there were a lot of similarities between the two experiences. The obvious difference was the age and point in life in which cancer claimed their lives. Interestingly enough, we each had different perspectives on the subject. Their son was the breadwinner for a family and had a loving spouse and children counting on him. Sheila commented on how unfair it was that he was taken away from his family. They kept saying how horribly unfair it was for Mary Beth to be afflicted before she had the experiences their son was blessed with. It just goes to show that there is no good time for cancer to call. Enjoy the time you have with your loved ones and give them an extra hug today. God bless you, On the first day of spring we enjoyed the sun and sand of Sunny Florida. It is appropriate that we encountered some rain showers between the prolonged sun today. As we walked the beaches, laid in the sun, made a super sand castle, swam in the pool, and drew art scenes in the sand, we were reminded of how beautiful our world truly is. It wasn't until after we were run inside by a brief rain shower that we truly saw nature's beauty. Around 5:00 PM, we were gathering at our condominium and we were all drawn to the sliding glass doors that face the bay. There was the most magnificent rainbow we have ever seen. We believe it was a sign from MB that she was saying that even though we weren't in the mountains, we should enjoy ourselves. God bless you, We continue to be blessed with good times. The sun was more stubborn today but we all seemed to absorb enough of it to see a difference on our pigmentation. At one point this afternoon, it was very windy, partly cloudy and the temperature was 65o. We were a sight to see as we were all in the pool or lounging on chairs as if it were a sunny day in July. We had lunch at Rotten Ralph's on the northern tip of Anna Maria Island. We just had to go so we could inform Uncle Ralph Rockamann upon our return to St. Louis and the fish and chips specialty was delicious. Our dinner venue reminded us of the Slope-side Grill in Steamboat Springs. It was Tommy Bahama's with live music as you enjoyed your meal. We talked about how much fun we had there in December while we on Mary Beth's Make A Wish trip. What great memories we have and we continue to build. God bless you, What a beautiful day. We spent the entire day on the beach or by the pool enjoying the mid 70's and full sun. William and I made the biggest sandcastle in existence in Florida. It had a large moat about three feet deep, connecting tunnels, multiple decks, pools, waterfalls, walls, and shells and sticks for decor. Will calls it his lizard house because he was chasing a little lizard around the pool deck trying to catch it. He wants all the lizards to live in a house and not be homeless. Tonight we ventured into St. Petersburg to pick up Molly Rockamann at Eckerd College. She started her spring break today so we went to dinner, they all dropped me off at the airport (I have to attend a meeting tomorrow and Saturday), then went back to the beach with Molly for a couple of days. The last time we saw Molly was at Mary Beth's funeral when she arrived from Spain just in time to participate in the mass by reciting some of the petitions. She has always been a special part of our family by babysitting and hanging out with the kids. The girls and Will love to spend time with her and discuss any and everything. Her stories of Saint Joe were always of particular interest to Mary Beth, Barbie and Heidi. She was also Will's first babysitter and is impressed by his humor and vocabulary. It is amazing how fast time really does fly. It wasn't that long ago when Molly was babysitting for us a freshman at Saint Joe and now she is a collegiate sophomore. God bless you, I am writing to
you from 32,000 feet and have the privilege of sitting in a window
seat staring out at the grandeur of the Rocky Mountains.
We are passing the southern part of these purple mountain
majesties after crossing the rather un-fruited plain of west Texas.
Looking at the ski trails of Taos, New Mexico reminds me of a
story. That particular mountain range was the first site I strapped
on skis in 1979. I was
reckless abandon as I followed or led my fraternity brother
“friends” down the blue and black runs they directed me to.
At the bottom of the trails, I traded my skis and poles in
for a new set because I had bent a pole about 45 degrees and broke a
ski so badly that it was flapping just behind the binding. I shared this story with Mary Beth, Barbie, and Heidi on the next ski trip I attended in 1994. They laughed and Sheila encouraged them not to follow in Dad’s footsteps but to learn to ski the proper way by taking lessons from a professional. They did just that and soon became better skiers than Dad. On our last family ski trip in which we were all healthy during Spring Break ’99, I could hold my own with Heidi, but Mary Beth and Barbie were far superior skiers. Sheila can ski with them with no problems and enjoyed this ski trip particularly because she skied for hours with all the girls. William and I spent some quality time building snowmen while he befriended Rusty the Fox outside our condo by feeding him everything he could he find in our cabinets. Yes, seeing the purple mountain majesties truly does bring back fond memories. God bless you, Yesterday was a very rewarding and yet very difficult day. After spending the week in beautiful Longboat Key, FL with Sheila and the kids, I flew to Las Vegas to attend the annual meeting of ELAR Partners, LLC of which I am a member. The majority of the attendees were with Sheila and I on our trips to Finland, Russia, Israel and Jordan. The first question they all asked was whether or not my beautiful bride was with me. After they were disappointed to hear that Sheila was not there, the next question from those who had not heard was about the status of Mary Beth's health. Those who knew, immediately came up to me and gave me a hug when they spotted me. When we were in The Holy Land together last May and June, they all learned about Mary Beth's struggle with cancer and prayed for her full recovery, whether Christian, Jewish, or Hindu. They knew that she was doing very well when we were there and that the prospect for her full recovery looked very promising. When I informed them that we lost Mary Beth exactly two months ago, they were very shocked and saddened to hear the news. They are a wonderful group of people that Sheila and I will have as lifelong friends. I only wish that she would have experienced the outpouring of love that I felt. God bless you, We received the following text in an email today from Sheila Murphy, one of Mary Beth's dear friends, who played sports with her on Pillar teams and is a freshman at John Burroughs High School. "There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them. Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be; because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do. May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy. Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the other person, too. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying. Angels
fly because they take themselves so lightly. MB was one of those people who always cheered you up when you were down, who always had a smile on her face, and made the most of everything that came her way. She was one of the sweetest, bravest, and strongest people that I have ever known. I know that I will always miss her. She truly was an angel."
Thank you Sheila for sharing these words with us so we could pass them on to so many. God bless you, During dinner this evening we were discussing several topics as we do at every meal. One of the subjects was smoking. The girls mentioned that they have seen several high school teens they know smoke, particularly girls. They believe the girls are doing so because it is the "in thing" to do. This conversation brought to mind a discussion I had with Mary Beth on the flight to Wichita during her final visit to see Grandma and Grandpa Ricken, and her aunts, uncles and cousins. She saw several people hanging out in the designated smoking areas inhaling their cigarettes. She couldn't fathom why anyone in their right mind would do this to their body. Why would anyone subject their body to the health risks associated with smoking, particularly lung cancer? She could understand, however, why people her grandparents' ages would have a difficult time breaking the habit because of a lifelong addiction to nicotine. She asked that her feelings on the topic of smoking be heard when the time was appropriate. Her thoughts are paraphrased below. "When I see you smoke as a teenager, I see a definite sign of weakness in succumbing to peer pressure. Stand up for what you believe in and don't be afraid to be different. God gave you a short period on earth to make a difference in the lives of others. Why shorten the time in which you can do this? Take care of your health. I have taken care of my body and yet I have been afflicted with an incurable form of cancer. If you had the choice, you would not choose what I have to deal with. Well, believe me, you have a choice. Please don't smoke. Quit (or better yet, don't start), as a sign of self respect. Do it for yourself, for your family and for me. Love always and forever, Mary Beth" One of our dear friends was a social smoker and quit when Mary Beth was diagnosed in respect for her. Thanks Kelly, hopefully multiples of others will follow suit. God bless you, Opening day is right around the corner and baseball fever is high in this baseball town. I just read about our seats for the Cards games this year in an email from Uncle Arthur and was immediately reminded of one of the first games I took Mary Beth to without a female in our party. We were invited to go to a Royals game with our friends and neighbors in Overland Park, Don and Ryan VanLandingham. Mary Beth was about five years old, she loved baseball and we sat in great seats. MB and Ryan were enjoying the game by eating and drinking their way through each inning. It didn't even dawn on me that she may have to go to the bathroom during the game until I saw her squirming in her seat. Then it hit me. I couldn't let her go into the ladies room by herself and I was barred from entry as well. We came up with a plan. She would tuck her very long hair up under her Royals hat and we would go into the men's room in a stall. I helped her with her hair and she pulled her baseball cap down really low over her forehead. She started laughing and giggling all the way into the men's room and almost didn't make it to the stall. But luckily, we averted a crisis and all went well. Ryan and his mom Heidi were at Mary Beth's wake and funeral and Ryan participated in the procession of roses. I didn't have the opportunity to recall this story with him but I am sure he will read this and laugh. God bless you, We continue to be blessed with an outpouring of love by so many people in so many ways. Whenever we speak to people in our everyday lives, the subject of how we are doing inevitably comes to the surface. On more days than not, we can honestly say that we are doing well. There are the days when the thought of being without Mary Beth in our lives is really overwhelming, but overall we have more good days than not-so-good days. We appreciate all of your acts of kindness, particularly the prayers. Our friends Rachel Baumgartner and Jenny Steinmann continue to undergo their treatments. Please say a prayer for them. Tonight we got word of another fundraising activity from Mary Beth's friend Amanda Wilson. Amanda is a freshman at Ursuline Academy. Friday, April 7th they will have a purple dress down day in honor of Mary Beth with the proceeds benefiting her foundation. We would like to thank Amanda, the board, administration, and all the young women of Ursuline for supporting the effort. God bless you, Mary Beth's website has been in existence since November 10, 1999 when Mary Beth's former teacher and friend Judy Rieke developed it on the Our Lady of the Pillar website the day after she was diagnosed. After moving this site to ricken.org and working with it for the better part of 2000, I became curious as to how well read this site really is. It dawned on me after Thanksgiving of last year that I should place a site meter on the home page to determine the number of hits we receive. This change was made around the last day of November 2000. It is now near the last day of March 2001 and four months have elapsed since we started keeping track. Today, the meter rolled over the 20,000 mark, meaning that Mary Beth's story has been read by 40,000 eyes during the past four months. This is an average of 5,000 hits per month. We want to simply say, "Thank you for reading about the faith and trust in God that our dear Mary Beth demonstrated during her short stay with us. Our hope is that you spread the word to others about her story and steer them to her site and most of all, that you continue reading." God bless you, We have been informed by one of our
favorite people, Sara Clark, that there is a 52 hour radio marathon
for the benefit of Children's Hospital this weekend on her favorite
radio show, "The Steve & DC We truly admire all of the tireless effort everyone at Children's exerted for the benefit of Mary Beth and our entire family. We were treated as part of their family from the valet service attendants to the nurses, and the cleaning people to the doctors. We know in our hearts that all measures that could have been taken were taken and without this dedicated team of professionals, we would not have enjoyed the best 15 months of our collectives lives. Mary Beth is as special to them as she is to us. If you have the opportunity, tune in and listen this weekend. And if you are more courageous than me, call in and tell of Mary Beth's story and share this site. I know that my emotions will take over if I attempt this and her message would not be heard. God bless you, One of the magnets on our refrigerator is the calendar of events for the Saint Joe Father's Club for this school year. I looked at it this week and saw how many events I have missed and was saddened when I reflected on my lack of contribution. The Father's Club sponsored a father/daughter community service project today at the St Louis Food Bank. Barbie, Erika Ricci, Gerilyn and Lee Goeddel and Christine Marino joined me in volunteering with other St Joe Angels and their dads to label and package food for distribution to the food pantries. We had a great time and met some wonderful angels and dads. We know that Mary Beth and Rachel would have been there if they could have been, so future freshmen Barbie and Erika represented their interests. Being there makes you appreciate the many blessings you have in your lives. Yesterday was the Ring Day at St Joe when the juniors receive their class rings. We were told of an angel banner on the stage in the gym where mass was held. The junior class theme is "Measure your life in love." The banner was large and depicted an angel with her wings spread out holding hearts in each hand and the words "How does your life measure up?" On the angel's chest was a purple ribbon in memory of Mary Beth. Mary Beth was also mentioned in the petitions, as an example of how her life measured up . . . in love. The expressions of love run deep from the St Joe community and are very heart whelming to all of us. We will never forget Mary Beth's own Ring Day when the juniors and seniors presented her with her class ring and ring box the day before we sent her to God's kingdom. God bless you, Home / Top of page / MB's Obituary / February - 01 / April - 01
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The
following page contains updates regarding Mary Beth's Journey for
March of 2001.
If
you wish to contact Mary Beth's family, you may do so through 
Sheila