August 2001 Updates on
Mary Beth's
Journey
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I received an email today speaking of a class assignment to compile a list of the Seven Wonders of the modern world. The papers were handed in and the list contained the great pyramids of Egypt, the Great Wall of China, St Peter's Basilica, the Taj Mahal, the Grand Canyon, the Empire State Building and the Panama Canal. While the pyramids of Egypt are the only structures which share the distinction of being the only wonder on the original list of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, this is still an impressive list. The teacher noticed a young lady
struggling with the list, then she handed her list in. Her
Wonders were listed as: 1) to touch, 2) to taste, 3) to see, 4) to
hear, 5) to run, 6) to laugh and 7) to love. She saw the gifts
God gave her as being the true wonders in life. May we all
realize that the gifts we have been given are precious and are to be
shared with others just as God shared them with us.
God bless you, It was a year ago yesterday when we received the news of Mary Beth's set back in her chemotherapy treatments. The small lesion on her lower spine had grown slightly and two more appeared while she was in chemotherapy treatment. We will always and forever remember the rallying everyone performed to support all of us. The phenomenal number of prayers that were said, especially the rosary during her MRI enabled us face the challenge with a smile. We knew that God was with us every step of the way because of the outpouring of love ever present in our lives. We have said it before and will say it again - Thank you. Tonight we hosted neighbors and friends in shaving some ice and pouring some juice for our common summer treat of snow cones. One person who was missing was Cindy Drury, because she was hospitalized. Tim and Cindy are expecting their fifth child in December (around MB's birthday). The report is good and baby and Mom are doing well. Please say a prayer that this will continue and that Cindy will come home tomorrow and enjoy a healthy pregnancy and healthy new baby this winter.
God bless you, We continue to enjoy our summer activities as we enter the home stretch before school starts in earnest later this month. All is well with Will's hamster, Heidi has all of her school shopping complete and our traveling daughter Barbie is still out of town. This will be an interesting year school wise. It will be the first year that Barbie and Heidi will not have a sibling attending their same school. I have a feeling that both will excel in this environment because they seem to relish their independence. Will is a pro at attending school with out a sibling. In fact, next year when he is a kindergartner and Heidi is an eighth grader will be the only year that he will do so (at least as far as older siblings are concerned). A note to all who are in school aged - Enjoy your summer, winter and spring breaks while you have them. Before you know it, you will not have the freedom and flexibility that comes with youth.
God bless you, When you think of your friends, several people come to mind. We had the opportunity of seeing a lot of ours tonight when we attended a surprise birthday party for Kathy Rockamann. Ralph, Matt, Allison, Molly and Courtney pulled off one of the best surprises we have ever seen for Kathy's party. I think we were celebrating her 29th birthday. I know she has to be younger than the "50" placards that were emblazoned around the room because of the moves she demonstrated on the dance floor. In lieu of gifts, the family asked for donations to Mary Beth's Angels Foundation and the party favors were t-shirts with MB's angel on them commemorating Kathy's big day. All in all it was a wonderful evening.
God bless you, Today is the day we get reunited as a family for the first time in three weeks. Barbie returns today from her Siesta Key trip and we are packing and heading for our old stomping grounds of KC. We have not spent any extended time as a family there since we moved six years ago. The week will be filled with renewing the many friendships we built during our 15 year stay there and should be a lot of fun.
God bless you, We have arrived in KC and have had the opportunity to see some old friends and also have some fun. When we moved six years ago, the grand structure of Union Station was sitting vacant with no life in it except the animals who found a home there. We spent the day in this beautiful building where the new Science City is housed. They did a wonderful job breathing life into this landmark. One of the funniest things that happened was when Barbie was riding a bicycle which is suspended on a wire about thirty feet above the floor. One of the last instructions she received was to keep her feet on the pedals. You guessed it, her foot slipped and her sandal fell off, landing in the safety net below. Another highlight was introducing Will to some authentic Kansas City barbeque.
God bless you, One of the truly high points for Mary Beth in her last few weeks occurred when we returned from her Make A Wish trip in Steamboat Springs in December. She was in our living room reading all the mail she had received during our week away. We were all in different rooms unpacking. All of a sudden, Mary Beth started screaming for me to come to the living room. I thought she needed assistance with something or that she was in pain. As it turned out, she did need assistance regaining her composure because one of the items she opened was addressed to her from Hall of Famer and all time KC Royals great George Brett. Her excitement level ranked among the highest I had ever seen her achieve. Tonight, the rest of the family experienced a similar feeling as we attended the Royals vs. Orioles game in the Patek suite at Kaufmann Stadium for which we thank our friend Mark Gorris. We had a very special and gracious visitor twice as George Brett came to see us and spend time with us. The only thing that would have the made the evening more special would have been if his number one fan would have been there with us. We know she was present with us in spirit.
God bless you, Two days and two KC baseball legends. Yesterday George Brett of the KC Royals at the "K" and today, Buck O'Neill of the KC Monarchs at the Negro Leagues Museum. Will and I joined his godfather Tony Nemec on the visit to the museum and we hit pay dirt because Major League Baseball radio was broadcasting from the museum. We listened to one of the best storytellers ever, reminisce of the days he played with Satchel Paige, Cool Papa Bell, Josh Gibson and the other greats before he became the first black coach in the majors. After the visit, William was introduced to Arthur Bryant's Barbeque. We spent the evening with Mary, Charlie, Bob and Sarah Murphy then met up with Father Bob Murphy for a few laughs. For those of you who have not had the pleasure, he is absolutely the funniest man of the cloth on the planet. We have had several highlights to this trip so far, but this afternoon we had an unforgettable experience when we went into the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile and got our own supplies of wiener whistles!
God bless you, When you move to a different city and start anew, you develop your favorite venues, whether it be dining establishments, sporting events, friends homes, or houses of worship. We have the pleasure of revisiting some of favorite KC venues this week and today we took in World's of Fun and Stroud's. Going to the theme park in a heat index greater than 115 seemed a little crazy but we had a blast. A visit to Stroud's at 85th and Troost in KC, MO is like a religious experience. We spent the evening there with our friends the Nemecs and had a lot of fun. When we opened the door the owner, Mike Donegan, greeted us like he has for the past 20+ years. His first words were, "Hey, where have you been?" After an hour wait, we dove into the 3rd best pan fried chicken in the country. My mom holds the title of the best and I come in a close second. The girls got reintroduced to the wonderful cinnamon rolls, Will requested a song by the piano player and we ate a lot of incredible family style fare in the place where the slogan is, "We Choke our Own Chickens".
God bless you, When you come back to the city in which you spent 15 years of your adult life, it evokes a lot of memories. Several came to mind today as I had lunch with my old work cohorts at Rosedale Barbeque and as we spent the evening in the Gelpi back yard. Seeing our former home from the back yard reminded us of the first 7 annual Easter egg hunts, doing the massive amounts of repairs to that structure when we first bought it, installing a gate so we could travel freely throughout the neighboring yards, fighting with the squirrel family that wanted us to share our home, building the deck that took a full six months and bringing home three bundles of joy. It was nice taking another stroll down memory lane.
God bless you, Sheila's sister Ellen, her husband Dave and their children Matt, Casey and Molly opened up their home for our infiltration this week and planned a picnic for us to see a lot of our KC friends this evening. We had a wonderful time visiting and could have done so for days. Time is always the issue when you see people you haven't seen in a while. It flies, then everyone moves on to the next venue in life. We spent special time with everyone present, but there was one very special person we particularly enjoyed spending time with. Erin Wilson was there with her parents Bret and Christie and one of her sister's, Emily. She is a wonderful young lady who is mature well beyond her 11 years. When we were driving away, everyone agreed that speaking with her was like having a conversation with MB. They share the same views on life focused on a compassion for helping others. Please keep her and her family in your prayers as she continues her treatments and plans for her stem cell transplant this fall and winter in Seattle.
God bless you, Today has been a long one, especially for Sheila, Barbie and Heidi. Along with Gerilyn Goeddel, Ellen, Casey and Molly Norburg, they woke up at 6 am and joined the ranks of thousands participating in a great cause. The walked and/or ran in the Susan G. Komen "Race for the Cure" walk in Kansas City to raise money for breast cancer research. This was a very special time for all of them because it marked the first participation in such an event since MB was taken from us by cancer. We were out of town when the St Louis event occurred. They also wore placards on their backs stating they were walking in Mary Beth's memory and in thanksgiving of Sharon Goeddel's victory against breast cancer. They had a great time participating in this event before we loaded the van for the four hour journey home. It was a great way to end our week of going "home".
God bless you, We received good news and unfortunate news when speaking with my parents this evening. The good news is that Grandma Ricken's microscopic poly-angiitis is in remission as of today's doctor visit. It was two years ago this month when she was diagnosed and in ICU. Two years of treatments and countless prayers and she is feeling better each day. The power of prayer has shown its mighty force once again. Thank you all for keeping her in your prayers. Unfortunately, one of my uncles, Ed Ricken, was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer today. He will begin radiation treatments in hopes of placing the disease in remission. May we pray that he has success in these treatments and he feels God's presence every step of the way.
God bless you, Coconut is not just from a tropical tree but is now the new name for Will's dwarf hamster. More importantly, he is still alive and doing very well. He has informed us that in the event his hamster doesn't make it, he will get two baby calves. His reasoning for two calves is that when they grow up, we will have two cows to give us our milk. They will be two different kind of cows because Heidi and Barbie like two different kinds of milk. Makes perfect sense to me. Creativity is not lacking in our home. Speaking of creativity, I experienced a lot of it last night when I was moving out of a chest of drawers into new furniture in our bedroom. I know it sounds glamorous but what better to do on a Monday night but move your sock drawer. When I emptied it, I found the stash of birthday cards, father's day cards, and other hand made notes I have collected over the past 15 years. All were creative in their design, but one struck me as being particularly creative. It was a card depicting me on the front of the card golfing and stating that if I do well on the final hole, I win the championship. When opened, you see my ball splashing in the center of a lake and laughter erupting from the crowd with the words "Life is short, laugh hard". I laughed and cried and never thought moving my socks could be so emotional.
God bless you, When we were in Kansas City last week, we had dinner with our dear friends the Murphys. They, along with a cast of countless friends and family, were (and continue to be) part of the prayer brigade in KC for Mary Beth and our family. As you have heard me say in the past, we believe the power of prayer to be the strongest of all forces and truly appreciate all that have been said and continue to be said on behalf of our angel MB and our family. Tonight we are asking for your prayers for another Mary Beth. Her name is Mary Beth Connor and is the wife of Keith and mother of five children (ages 6-14). Sheila and I have known Keith and Mary Beth since we were single and while Sheila served as maid of honor, Keith served as best man in Mary and Charlie Murphy's wedding. Mary Beth was diagnosed with melanoma that has metastasized to her brain and lungs. Please add Mary Beth, Keith and their family to your prayer lists and ask others to do the same. We know that all prayers are answered in some way. The result may not always be what we request, but God listens to all and responds in accordance with his will. The more voices, the greater the response. You may also inform the Connors of your support through Mary Beth's web site at www.geocities.com/marybethconnor.
God bless you, Now that we are approaching the kids final week of summer, I feel like it is truly summer because I have been to five baseball games in the less than two weeks. The Cardinals are on a roll, winning their 8th in a row tonight with several runs scoring with two outs. When we used to attend games with MB, she loved to keep score. I have not had the courage to obtain a score card since she left us. It was so much fun discussing the plays with her and having her record them. Since Barbie and Heidi really are not into baseball that much, I can't wait to keep score with Will. I guess the first thing we should do is allow him to learn to write the alphabet.
God bless you, Sometimes in life one feels like a white mouse attempting to make its way through a labyrinth. You walk into a dead end passage way and have to turn around to find your way. We have all experienced this feeling during the past two years but have always found our way. So many of you have been there to guide us when we were caught in the maze. We have asked for your prayers for our family and friends and you have always responded. For all of this support we want to say two words that are never spoken often enough, "Thank you!"
God bless you, I am not sure which changes more rapidly, the pitcher for the Cardinals or the names for Will's hamster. You guessed it, the little guy has a new name. Will now refers to his hamster as Chuckie Sue because he is not sure if the hamster is a male or female. He keeps us entertained with his imagination and sense of humor. He also shares some deep thoughts of Mary Beth on occasion and misses her a lot. The other night he was on lap when I was updating this site and he told me that his eyes were getting wet. When I asked him why, he simply replied, "I miss my Mary Beth". Then he buried his head into my shoulder and there two of us with wet eyes.
God bless you, Heidi attended Stepping Stones Camp this weekend and had a wonderful time. This camp has been around for a few years and is designed for children ages 8 through 12 who have lost a close loved one. Aunt Joanie is the person who helped create this camp as part of the hospice efforts she led for Children's Hospital. When we went to camp this morning, we witnessed the closing ceremony in which the campers held memory flags they created while they let balloons go in remembrance of their family members. In the car trip home we realized that one of the brainstorming sessions Sheila and Joan had resulted in some of the pool games Heidi participated in. We know that Aunt Joanie was smiling when she realized something she created was helping Heidi cope with Mary Beth's departure.
God bless you, Please pray for the repose of the soul of Bertha Ricken who died this morning in Pueblo, CO. She is the mother of our cousins Carol, Bishop David and Mark Ricken and had been afflicted with Alzheimer's disease. Our thoughts and prayers extend to her family. Barbie's fun at St. Joe commenced today with Freshman Day, a day to get oriented with fellow freshmen, learn the layout of the school and worship the seniors. She looked exhausted when we picked her up at 6:00 pm after a long day of activities but she said she had fun.
God bless you, It seems as though life presents challenges every step along the way. Some of these challenges are easily overcome and some are more difficult. Probably the biggest challenge to overcome for most people is the fear of the unknown. My sister Donna called this evening and informed us that her sister in law Kay Bruce is facing the unknown as she was diagnosed today with breast cancer. The good news is that breast cancer is one of the most curable cancers if detected early. We pray that the detection was early and that God surrounds Kay and her family with his grace and provides her with the strength to overcome. The old saying, "A bad day on the golf course beats the best day in the office" held true today. The 5th annual Funny Bone golf tournament was held today and I had the opportunity to duff and laugh with friends and enjoy the links as Tom Calhoun, Dan Lane and Dan Sullivan joined me in raising money for childhood diabetes. REMINDER - Tomorrow night - Wednesday, August 22 at 7:00 PM is the Praise and Worship Concert at Our Lady of the Pillar at 401 S. Lindbergh. Everyone is welcome to this benefit for Mary Beth's Angels Foundation. Admission is free and if someone wants to donate to the foundation they may do so. Also Sara Clark is looking for people to join her at Pillar at 1:45 PM on Wednesday to caravan downtown to NewsChannel 5 to be live on "Show Me St Louis". You can either call her at (314) 993-2345 or email her at sclarkolp@aol.com. See you at the concert.
God bless you, Pillar was rocking tonight with the sounds of Christian rock music and from the looks of it, everyone in attendance had a good time. When Barbie and Gerilyn hopped into the car, they both said they had a good time at this concert performed on a volunteer basis by the hit praise and worship band Exodus Two Zero. It was very refreshing to see our youth gathering in the parish life center for something other than a sporting event and enjoying their common beliefs. There are staggering statistics regarding how quickly Catholics wander away from our religion. Sara Clark and her fellow youth ministers are making a difference in several young people's lives and I believe they will stay with our faith and continue to practice through adulthood. Sara announced the first youth mass featuring upbeat contemporary music at Pillar to be held Sunday, September 9th at 6:00 PM. Everyone is welcome to attend. If you attend mass regularly or not so regularly, you should come to this one and try it on for size. See you there.
God bless you, Good news from our friends the Wilsons in Kansas City. The chemotherapy Erin has been on has placed her into remission, which has to occur before she is eligible for a stem cell transplant. Other good news is that the hospital in Seattle where she will be treated has a preliminary list of 123 potential matching donors! As her day says, there is a long way to go, but Erin has begun her climb up the mountain. Let us all continue to pray that she reaches the peak with flying colors! When the number 23 appears on the calendar we all react differently. It was seven months ago this morning when Mary Beth closed her eyes for the last time. I kept myself completely immersed in work today as I spent a very long day in the Twin Cities. Heidi crossed the threshold of Pillar for the first time as a 7th grader. Sheila and Will took Barbie to book day at St Joe where Will entertained all the freshmen. They all went to get haircuts and Heidi planned to donate her hair but decided to wait a little longer so her hair could grow a little more. When I returned this evening, it was a typical school night with Heidi doing homework, Barbie on-line, Sheila working on MB's Angels activities and Will selecting three books for bedtime reading. I then picked up the new yearbook acquired at St Joe today and saw Mary Beth's full page dedication and it capped a great day.
God bless you, After work today I was enjoying the heat and humidity in the school rooms at Our Lady of the Pillar. The reason for the enjoyment was that I was assisting in the installation of air conditioning units at the school. It was amazing to see the difference after even a few minutes of having these units on. Perhaps our children will come home without looking like wilted lettuce after school. And who knows, their concentration and fun level may increase as a result of their improved environment. On behalf of all the students, faculty, staff and parents at Pillar, we thank the anonymous donor of these units.
God bless you, When school starts every year in our home, there exists a lot of excitement in the air and the kids get ready for the next level of education. They make sure their uniforms are located and ready to wear, go shopping for school supplies, pick out the coolest backpack or belt bag, and wonder what it will be like this year with new subject matter and new teachers. Historically, on the first day of school Sheila snaps a photo of the gang on the front porch individually and as a group. This is the first year since preschool days some 13 years ago that Mary Beth has not been around for the excitement and will not be present in the photo. I guess that is the reason these last few days have been the hardest so far for us since she left us.
God bless you, Today is the one year anniversary of Aunt Joanie's entry into heaven. She made a dramatic impact on countless lives during her short 39 years on this planet. In my opinion, the greatest impact of her presence is yet to be felt. That will occur with the the maturing of Nate, the son she and Jeff rescued from obscurity and disease in a Ukrainian orphanage shortly before she entered the hospital for the final time. The greatest legacies she left were the roles she loved the most, being a loving wife and mother. We will always miss her and always remember her for her love, compassion and strong will that always brought a smile to our faces. God continues to work in mysterious ways. When my parents departed for Colorado last week to attend Bertha Ricken's funeral, they did not know they would stay another day to attend another funeral. Last Monday, we lost another relative, Andrew Ricken to a traffic fatality. He was the 18 year old son of Doug Ricken, my second cousin. We spent some quality time this afternoon in Highland, Illinois attending the HIS KIDS annual summer picnic. It is always nice to spend time with our friends who have been similarly afflicted by cancer.
God bless you, Hello from beautiful Statesville, NC! Today marked the first full day of school for Barbie and Heidi and both seemed to have a good time and are into the swing of homework. Barbie was only late for one class in trying to find her way through her new schedule at St Joe. She was selected among a handful of freshmen to perform a skit to kick off Hello Week next week. Heidi had a great time this evening auditioning for the St Louis Archdiocese Children's Choir, especially when she was informed that she was selected as the newest member of this group. You have read about my thoughts on the subject of mental illness and I am asking for your prayers once again. You can not always see it or recognize it, but it is very real and very treatable. One of our friends has been misdiagnosed for years and is seeking assistance to get control of bi-polar disorder. Please keep her and her family in your thoughts and prayers and pray that this and other similar diseases are more widely recognized and appropriately treated.
God bless you, We want to thank you all for reading and sharing with us how inspirational Mary Beth has been, and continues to be in your lives. We constantly hear from people we know and those we have not met about how MB has touched their lives in some fashion or form. It is truly amazing for us to continue to experience this as her family and feel so blessed by it. She is very special to us and it is heartwarming to hear that so many felt this same way.
God bless you, We all think of and talk about Mary Beth everyday. Inevitably, someone will do or say something that reminds us of her. It is usually something very humorous but can also be very serious. Yesterday Will was having a conversation with Sheila about where Mary Beth is now. He said he knew she was with her angel friends but also said he felt her in his heart. He knows that one can only be in one place at a time so he was a bit perplexed as to how she could be with the angels and also be in heart. Sheila explained to him that with God all things are possible and Mary Beth could be several places at the same time since she is an angel. He was pleased with her answer and thought it was a really cool thing.
God bless you, When attending Freshman Parents Orientation this evening with Sheila at St Joe, I was reminded of attending alone last year because Sheila was with MB in isolation in the bone marrow unit. Mary Beth was very excited for her freshman year last year when she received her acceptance letter in February. I recall the day we were informed last summer that her treatments would change because the cancer was not responding. She was not upset about the fact that her life threatening disease was resisting treatment, but she was upset about one thing. The only thing that upset her was the fact that this setback would disturb her attendance at St Joe. She truly loved school for the academic and social challenges, friendships, and experiences presented by this environment. After you read this, try a little experiment. If you really don't feel like attending an event, whether it be school, a meeting, work, etc. - change your attitude and go forward with the kind of vigor MB displayed when attending school.
God bless you, Today the student body of Our Lady of the Pillar celebrated the mass of the Holy Spirit to start the new school year. Heidi had the honor of carrying the Holy Spirit banner into church and placing it on the alter. It was a beautiful mass and included the little kindergartners in their new school uniforms. I was doing fine until the hymn "Taste and See" was sung. At that point I couldn't help from focusing on the fact that Mary Beth was missing and I lost it. I was a mess until I got in the car and drove back to the office. Mary Beth always laughed at my tears and would roll her eyes. I am sure she was doing that again today.
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August of 2001.
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